Beer run with the South Gate skaters Happy Drunk Cartel

 
 It was a Tuesday, Paco and I were at a liquor store getting a 12 pack of PBR because we were on our way to interview the Happy Drunk Cartel.  It would have been rude to show up empty handed and they are after all, The Happy DRUNKS!


Name?

Berry: HDC stands for Huge Dangling Cocks.  That pretty much describes us.
Hector: We had to change it for the kids, so we changed it to Happy Drunk Cartel.
 
Where did Happy Drunk Cartel come from?
 
B:  HDC came from a tagging crew, a skating crew.  You know, just a bunch of young punk rockers
Kevin: From South Gate High
B: We used to tag up the streets, go to shows… Hang out, you know?
 
How did the band go from Tagging Crew to Music Crew?
 
B: Tony, tell this part!

Tony:  Nah.
 

B: Tell it for once, I always fucking do it, bro!
 
T:  I used to mess around with a friend.
 
B:  In what way???
 
T:  Making music.  Later on I met Kevin at my job.

Kevin: I remember, because I was there!  I said to Tony, “Let’s make a Ska band!”  I knew a drummer and he knew a singer, which was Berry.  The original drummer didn’t work out and we ended up finding Hector!  We found Hector by a cousin of his that we had asked to jam with first; he was the second guitar player at the time. He knew a drummer and he tried to convince him to come to the band, but he said no a shitload of times.

 
H:  That was my cousin, Johnny.
 
K:  It was awkward kicking him out.
 
B:  Johnny was a cool buddy back in the day.
 
K:  How did we kick him out? I don’t remember.
 
B:  Let’s start over.  It was a train wreck.  Tony, I tried to give you a chance.. you didn’t talk at all in 
the last interview.

After a minute of bullshit, we decided to start over.
 
From left to right, Name and what you do.
 
 H: My name’s Hector, you can call me Golem.  I play drums and backup vocals.
 
T:  My name’s Tony, you can call me Lates. I play bass and backup vocals.
 
K:  I’m Kevin, a.k.a. Levin.  I play guitar and backup vocals.
 
B:  My name is Berry Faded, and I’m an alcoholic.
 
ALL TOGETHER: Hi, Berry!
 
Who is the drunk poet who writes your lyrics?
 
B:  What describes a drunk poet?  Does he get drunk off the poetry, or does he write drunk?
 
Either way. 

B:  I write the lyrics for most of the songs.  Kevin helps me a lot, bouncing ideas and challenging me to come up with something better.  Kevin wrote a few songs. Old Man, Tell ‘Em What.  When he chimes in, songs like Lonely Day couldn’t be complete. 
 
H:  That song took months!
 
B:  It took years, we went to town on it.  Hector helped me out a lot too.  Helped me get in touch with my insides.
 
Who wrote Death?
 
B:  I wrote it.  You know what’s funny?  It’s four verses repeated. Doubled up.  It’s not too complicated or technical, but at the time I had no idea what the fuck I was writing.
 
H:  It all made sense in the end.
 

K:  It was different before. We changed it.  The original version is probably on the internet somewhere.
 
B:  It should stay where it is, because I don’t want to touch it.
 
H:  It was one of the first recordings we did.
 
Favorite drunk food?
 
H:  Every moment, pizza!
 
WHAT TOPPINGS?
 
H:  Pepperoni.
 
B:  When I’m hung over, I like stuffed crust with pepperoni and jalapenos.  When I’m drunk I like 
tacos. De lengua, al vapor, de cabeza.  Nice moist meat, with sauce.
 
What’s your favorite drunk food, Tony?
 
B: Cock.
 
Is this true?
 
T:  I like fries.  Poutine fries. Gravy, chicken.
 
Kevin??
 
K:  Oh, man!  There’s a list!  What can I choose?  I think McDonalds.  Two cheeseburgers and fries.


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source: businessinsider.com

You should try a McGangBang!
 
A McGangBang consists of:
1 (one) McChicken
1 (one) McDouble
Handful of fries

2 (two) or 3 (three) chicken nuggets
 
McGangBang. 
  



HEY MCDONALDS! PAY US!
  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Favorite Movies?
 
B:  Can I get two?   Something … the doors.
 
K:  I love Pinocchio.  Shit’s tight as fuck. And Dark Knight Rises.
 
T:  Saving Private Ryan.  Marvel Avengers: Infinity War.
 
H:  My favorite movie, that I could watch any moment it’s on is The Sandlot.  My other one would be Pulp Fiction.
 
I asked them about zombies, learned they are not fans of the genre.  If you’re curious, I asked them if they think zombies should be fast or slow and they unanimously answered slow, because Fuck that!
 

That’s right, I’m bringing back the gifs!  I don’t know how y’all felt about them, and frankly I 
don’t give a damn. I like them, so I’m bringing them back!
source: tumblr.com

 













  




What Fictional Character do you identify with and why?
 
K:  I like Naruto. I think he’s inspirational as fuck.  No matter how many times people put him down, he still gets up!
 
H:  Whenever I need to put myself up, I always say I gotta turn Super Saiyan!
 
T:  [to Berry] You go, I’m still thinking.
 
B:  Probably Mr. Hankey cause I’m the shit.
 
K:  You’re mysterious…
 
And for Tony, if the rest of you were to give him a character, what would it be?
 
H: Snorlax!
 
K:  I’d say hank Hill.
 
B:  Mr. Potato Head.
 
Dream Line Up™
 
Operation Ivy
Rancid
Rage Against The Machine
Blink-182
HDC*
Taylor Swift
 
*They did not place themselves in the line-up, so I did it for them.  YES THEY ARE AFTER TAYLOR SWIFT! THAT’S RIGHT, SWIFT IS JUST AN OPENING ACT ACCORDING TO 
ME!
 
Day Jobs? [Drunks by Night, ???? by Day]
 
B: We have that in a song.  "Which is flipping burgers mopping floors selling sewing machines parts and answering phones"… I’m a cook.
 
H:  Maintenance Technician.
 
T:  I’m on the phone.
 
K:  Sales / Real Estate Sales, I passed Mother fuckers!
 
[we all applaud Kevin for his accomplishment]
 
B:  So now you’re even less punk.
 
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
 
K:  With my guys right here. Either or for me is we make it out and we’re touring and doing it all together.  I see that one.  The second one is not doing it, but we’re still talking and kicking it and jamming out.  I’d be happy with that one too.
 
H:  Steady touring would be sick.
 
New EP on it's way?
 
H:  It’s coming out January. Fingers Crossed.  4 songs.  The Rinse Years. 
 
B:  4 new songs.  They’re a little bit different from what’s on our album.  They’re a little bit more fun!  Each Song describes a year. A moment we went through.  It was a lot of fun.
 
T:  4 great songs.
 
Favorite Porn Site?
 
B:  Not Porn Hub anymore cos you gotta pay and shit.
 
H:  It’s still free.
 
You know they plant trees?
 
K:  That’s my number one.
 
H:  They plant a tree every time?
 
They plant a tree for every 100 videos watched.
 
B:  So for every night I bust…
 
You bust a tree into existence. (Well, every 100 nights)
 
[PornHub sponsor us]
 
H:  I’ve been planting trees for years!
 
Who would play you in the Happy Drunk Cartel Biopic?
Picking fucking gringos
 
B: Probably Edward James Olmos to be honest. Him or Val Kilmer.
 
K: Fuckin’ Superbad, Jonah Hill!
 

 

H:  That’s a tough one.. Fez…
 
B:  Pedro from Napolian Dynamite.
 
Tony couldn’t or wouldn’t answer so the rest of the band answered Whoopie Goldberg or the purple alien from Space Jam.  So many names were thrown around and we lost focus, so I asked my next question.
 
Can you tell us about one of the songs from the new EP, The Rinse Years?
 
B:  Track number two is called Chicks with Dicks.  It’s a fictional story about a young man who plays in a band.
 
H:  A fictional character.
 
B:  Fictional character.  He went to a bar, after a show.  He had no dice with the girls, and he wanted something more.  So he took a drive to find hookers and dope fiends.  He sees a sexy looking working girl. So he asks “Hey baby, how much?”  she turns around, [In a deep voice] “Fifty bucks!” dude’s like oh shit, “Make it twenty.”  He got a low price, with a small surprise.


K:  He also found out it was his dad.








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